Time does not stand still for anyone.

Hello friends!

Time does not stand still for anyone.

We will never be able to please everyone… and that’s okay.

It’s just the nature of the world and how we are as individuals. Don’t ever strive to please everyone, but always strive to be a better version of yourself. When you strive to be the very best version of yourself, you give others permission to do the same thing for themselves. Let go of the perfection of wanting to please everyone, and to be liked by everyone.

Just be who you love to be – whether you’re everyone’s cup of tea or not is not your business.

When we set a standard for how we want to behave and live our lives, sometimes those standards we create are completely different to what someone else wants. We can never completely give 100% of what others want. Focus on what you want in life and let your life move forward in a way that gives you joy!

The goal is for you to learn what works for you. When you focus on what is important to you and how it makes you feel, that is the primary goal. Focus your energy on the feeling of love and nourishment for yourself, because then it becomes easier to love and nourish others in ways that they may need it.

So, stop trying to always please everyone. It is impossible to make everyone happy. Focus on your flow and energy. Let your energy bring happiness and encouragement into other people’s lives through the way you act in spite of trying to please them. Don’t hide away when you upset someone, or don’t get acknowledged. Rather see your situation as a lesson to learn from. See it as a growth point and focus on loving rather than pleasing.

With peace and love, Frankie x

Initiating intentional integrity

Hello friends!

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve shared anything here, I’ve been really busy. Please forgive me for being human!

But I did want to jump on here and share something that has been on my heart recently.

I had a conversation with someone over a good cup of coffee recently, and they spoke a lot about integrity and how much they value integrity in someone as a value and characteristic of personality. That made me questions a few things. Firstly, do we on a daily basis practice being mindful and show consistency in our actions and thoughts? Secondly, what does it mean to incorporate intentional integrity into our life?

Intentional is the operative word here. We should actively strive to be better versions of ourselves as much as possible. Do we accomplish this intentionality all the time? Maybe, maybe not. 

Now, integrity is defined as a noun. It’s the description of something, a value, a trait. The description of someone being completely honest, and having strong moral principles.

Integrity is more than just being honest, it also encompasses the consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. This is when your actions are accurate and consistent to what you say, what you think and how you feel. Intentionality helps us to reflect on what to say, how to behave, how to make decisions in a way that is reflective of our values and beliefs in a way that in mindful of our own energy and actions.

What I’ve come to realise is that it is actually extremely difficult to have integrity 100% of the time. We aspire to have integrity with what we believe but sometimes not everything goes to plan. Sometimes, our emotions get the best of us and we are unable to intentionally manage our behaviour and actions. Sometimes, we don’t give ourselves permission to be our true selves out of fear of what others may think or due to an inability to truly ‘integrate’ the various parts of ourselves into one complete whole person.

But the good news is that we can aspire to have integrity. How is this possible?

It’s possible by starting with self-awareness. If we practice becoming aware of our thoughts and how our environments stimulate us more than we realise, that is an amazing start.

Let’s start being mindful of our thoughts, and mindful of how our thoughts guide our emotions and decisions! Here are ways we can become more aware of our thoughts, behaviours and feelings in order to try and have more integrity in our lives;

• Practice listening to what you are saying. Be aware of your tone of voice, how you sound.
• Focus on the choice of words you use to communicate.
• Be aware of your facial expressions, and your body language and how you portray your emotions in your non-verbal behaviours. We say so much without even having to speak. So if you align what you say to what you do – you will be able to share a consistent communication flow. How does this affect the responses of the people you are around?
• Stop being in such a hurry, focus on being here, intentionally in the moment.
• Do your behaviours match what you say, and think?
• Sit down and reflect on what your values are, how can you strive towards them? What steps are you going to take to be consistent?
• The hardest conversations are the one’s you don’t have – so go out and engage with others, create good memories and mindfully regulate your behaviour through your interactions. This is where you get a feel of what works for you, and what doesn’t. The aim is understanding in context to what you are going through!
• CHOOSE LOVE. Do everything out of love, and you will see your change in front of you!

How can we create intentional integrity in our daily lives? Does it mean you need to be mindful in each and every moment to understand and captivate your thoughts before they turn toxic? Does it mean to have integrity we need to monitor each and every moment? No, I don’t mean that. What I mean is that we need to understand why we respond the way we do, and use it as a way to move forward, and to try be a better version of ourselves as much as we possibly can.

These may only be a handful of suggestions, but it may be something that can resonate with you as you read this.

With peace and love, Frankie x