What my inner voice has held me back from, and what changed.

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Hello beautiful friends!

For the past three years I have been uhm-ing and ah-ing and putting off this exact post. For me to sit down and just start to write what is on my heart has been a huge challenge for me in the past, but today is the day that I conquer that fear.

How hard can it be to sit down and write what’s on the heart? Well, for me it has been my own self doubt and fear of what others think of me, the fear that no one will gain anything from reading this post, or being so critical of myself that I couldn’t see what opportunity I have had right in front of me. For me this is a journey and an exciting adventure, not only because I am doing something that 3 years ago I would of laughed at myself for and asked why am I being so silly.

Not only did my inner critic hold me back, it also stopped me from believing in myself for a while. My inner critic was those voices from my childhood when someone laughed at me because I spoke funny, or because I have one eye slightly lower than the other. My imperfections disabled me. I thought I didn’t have a voice loud enough for others to hear, I was scared I would be made fun of for having a stutter, I was fearful of the funny looks I would get because I would be doing something that is personal and time-consuming or setting myself up for failure.

The problem was I never tried to do anything. I gave up before I even started.

Now you’re probably wondering, “yeah, and? what does this have to do with writing a blog post?” well, for me this is where I wanted to take the plunge, to do what I thought I would never do, conquer a fear and make myself heard.

This is not a sob story, I am simply putting into context what has been racing through my mind over the last 72 hours.

So, how can YOU take control of your inner critic:

  1. Try to identify what your inner critic is telling you. The first step is to acknowledge your thought process and to try understand that what you are thinking may be irrational thinking. Remember that what your inner critic is telling you is not a true reflection of your reality. Your inner critic is a negative attitude that you have adapted due to early-life experiences, and have internalised them as your own point of view, not someone else’s.
  2. Express your thoughts, if that’s through speaking to someone who can give you a different perspective, or writing down your thoughts in second person. By doing this, it will help you see those irrational thoughts as not being a true reflection of who you really are.
  3. Once you have processed the statements of your inner critic as false, you can respond by writing down, or saying out loud, a more realistic and compassionate evaluation of yourself. Your response should be in the first person. For example, “I may have struggled with my speech and confidence in the past. But I am confident within my own way.” Using “I” statements is not to boost your ego, but to show yourself a more honest and kinder attitude towards yourself.
  4. Remember not to react instantly towards your inner voice. Take action and process what you are thinking from a point of view where you are able to see who you want to  be, and what you want to aim to achieve within each situation. By identifying, separating from, and acting against an irrational, destructive thought process you WILL grow stronger, while your inner critic grows weaker with every effort you make to captivate your thoughts and find the positive outcomes.

For me, these 4 little tips have made a huge difference in how I view things. Take action over your own life to make it the best that you possibly can!

Therefore, what you think about is what you live out. What you think motivates you in getting started (or not starting), but changing your mindset and looking at each situation from a new and fresh perspective is what can turn into a habit and make your life fresh and amazing!

By taking my own thoughts captive, I can control how I view everything. I can control my reactions – and so can you.

It all starts within the mind, no one else will make you do the job. only you can get up and chase your dreams.

Are you aware of what your inner critic is in control of? Are you aware of your limiting negative self-beliefs, doubts and fears that may not even be a true reflection of who you really are?

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” – Proverbs 23:7

You are so much more than just a thought. you are special, because God loves YOU.

I am asking you to do one thing for yourself, friend, and that is to do that one thing you have been putting of or that seems daunting. I want you to extend your opportunities, extend yourself out of your comfort zone and into the unknown. Go and get that experience, you can learn valuable lessons by just merely adjusting what you think.

Bill Phillips once said that if you wait until everything in your life is perfect before you begin something challenging and new, you’ll be waiting forever. The best time is now.

It is time to take action. So, friend, I dare you to extend.

With love and peace

Frankie xxx

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